SoulMoxie: The Short Answer Will Have To Suffice

I have been wanting to spill the beans about why I was on blog hiatus for so long. I expected that once I began writing again all of the pertinent information would flow freely through my fingers to your computer screens and WHAMMO! Problem solved. That has not been the case. I have spent so many hours in front of my computer typing, deleting, typing, deleting, thinking, biting my nails, pulling my hair and you know what? It's just not happening. And I'm not going to force it. You're going to have to trust me on this one.

What I will say is that the past 5 months have taught me an enormous respect for life. More respect than I can articulate in words at this moment - tell me that you've experienced this, too? That there are times in your life when as much as you try, words don't seem to do your emotions, or experiences justice?

I'm not the first person to go through what I've gone through. I'm just not ready to write about them and didn't know how to write about them at the time. I wrote in depth about our friend Drew, who took his life in late September.

Below on the left is my friend Kimberly Marvin, who was tragically shot and killed by her on and off again boyfriend in January

Below is my beloved Uncle Tom - The Uncle I went to Vegas with here. He died Unexpectedly at the beginning of February. I miss him terribly.

I also had a tenant commit suicide during this time. I just couldn't bring myself to post. I am sorry. It feels good to be back.

Flickr

Comments

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Sweetie,

I do understand. And I am so very sorry about the losses which you have had to endure. Sometimes all we can do is to try to make sense of things by ourselves. And sometimes, it helps to reach out. I don't know if you remember, but my brother, my only sibling, passed away suddenly a little over a year ago. He was only 41. 2008, and some of 2009 has felt like nothing more than a giant blur to me. A blur with a lot of very, very sharp edges that can still open me up very unexpectedly.

Write about the things that you need to write about, but don't pressure yourself to do more. Just know that there are those of us who do understand and who will be here if you need us.

Hugs,
Deb

Posted by: Debbie | April 21, 2009 at 03:49 PM

I have been trying to add your blog back onto my favorites list and have been having a bit of trouble. Hopefully I will be able to fix things soon!

Posted by: Debbie | April 21, 2009 at 04:21 PM

It is amazing the things that act as catalyst in our lives that summon the hearts spirit. Whether it is good or bad, triumph or tragedy, it can ultimately change so many things in our lives.
I am sorry to hear about all these things. My best to you and all your families.
I truly understand the respect you talk about.

Posted by: beaux | April 21, 2009 at 05:47 PM

That is so much to deal with Sarah! I hope I can give you a big hug when we were there visiting.

Posted by: Holly Thatcher | April 22, 2009 at 08:48 AM

Holy crap, sounds like the last few months have been awful. I'm sorry to hear about all this :(

Posted by: Celia Z. | April 23, 2009 at 09:13 AM

Sarah ... the world is a strange and unusual place indeed. We just can't explain it all, all of the time ... love and loss is the bread and butter of our world. But sometimes we find the fairy bread of life - and that's you ... you are my fairy bread.

I so hope you have fairy bread in the US - you know bread and butter covered in 100s and 1000s - those coloured things off cakes ....

le xoxoxo

Posted by: le | April 26, 2009 at 04:14 AM

That is enough to silence anyone. Your friend was so beautiful. Your uncle, so bright-eyed. As Penelope Trunk said in a post several months ago - "Life is hard. You have to wonder why anyone would want to do it."