SoulMoxie

The World Has Stopped And I Own A Karaoke Machine

This is such a long twisted story, how could I possibly sum it up in....a novel?

It all starts a few months back when I borrowed my friend's karaoke machine for a party. It had a lot of potential to be lame - I will be the first to admit that, but it was anything but - IN FACT, it was awesome. So awesome that I completely wore my voice out singing until the wee hours of the night. And then waking up early to sing more. Seriously, wait until you hear my Total Eclipse Of The Heart, you'll be all WOAH...maybe...

The love for this karaoke machine almost ruined said friendship because I refused to return her calls just knowing she couldn't wait to get her grubby little paws on my new found happiness. Really, it's the equivalent of making someone smoke crack, leaving them with a massive 8 ball and telling them you'll be back in 10 days and don't touch. I don't know this for a fact, but after my years dealing with addicts I can imagine that this is approximately 1 trillion times worse.

 

This is me at 8:00am in the morning.

When I finally, reluctantly, because my husband told me it was the right thing to do, gave the machine back, my friend was all "dude, I totally have hook-ups in the Philippines - chill". "WHAT?"

Sure enough...4 LOOONG months later and after her parents have taken a trip to the Philipines, I am a proud owner of a EXTREME Magic Sing Karaoke Machine. It's Awesome. 2100 songs, 2 cordless microphones - seriously - as I was belting out Against All Odds there was this river sound...then a giggle...then a flush...then Jess running out of the bathroom laughing hysterically. Not funny. At all. Nobody fucks with Phil Collins.

Love Me Some Indigo

Salt Lake City in the evening after a hot July day is hard to beat. It cools off to a nice arid 70 degrees and the mountains provide a gorgeous backdrop.  The only thing better than sitting in my backyard sipping on a lemonade is sitting up at Red Butte Gardens with a few girlfriends, sipping on wine and rocking out to the Indigo Girls. Did I mention there was a full moon?

 

Oh summer, how I miss you when you are not here.

Music For Dogs

I came across this yesterday and was all is this a joke? Because I'm pretty sure no human would willingly subject themselves or their pets to such a thing.

Then I did. Much to my relief my dogs were not only uninterested, but they actually got up off their doggie dozers, looked at me like WTF and walked out of the room. Let's hope my kids feel the same way about Barney.

The YouTube comments are priceless:

"If you think this song is cool. Take a 44 magnum and shoot yourself in the face."  Well, that seems a little drastic.

"geez my dawg didn't give a shit to this.. and this was maybe the most mindraping song ever. Total bs" What is a mindrape anyway?

"great my dog just had a shit fit and ripped the cable tv box out and broke it. thanks freaking song. you owe me a cable box." I owe you a cable box?

"Are you a dog? How would you know they're not happy, on the inside?" Are you a dog? How do you know that they're not all TURN THIS SHIT OFF, on the inside".

"Squeaky deaky it always makes me laugh,
squeaky deaky I'm a phycopath."  Do you mean psychopath?

"HAHA THAT DOG RAPES LITTLE KIDS"  What? 

"You guys dont understand this! its music FOR dogs, not humans."  No, really, we get it.

Have I Told You?

Have I told you JUST how much fun we had on our wedding day?

I Maybe Possibly Have Lost It All Together

It's true. I'm losing my mind. How do I know this? Let me count the ways...

1. I lost my phone last week on my way to Maine. Somewhere between Salt Lake City, and New York City. I think. I was positive I left it on the plane, but now I'm doing that whole "maybe I had it in Times Square?" Or "did I have it at Starbucks?" "Did I give it to someone to hold?" "Maybe that weird chick with the boots who was eyeing me in the bathroom took it?" People - don't go down this road. It is a slippery slope. One that will lead you to call Tmobile 5 times until you get the one customer service representative that will indeed tell you that yes your phone was in NEW YORK CITY even though they shouldn't be divulging that kind of information, but you've cried and pleaded and spent 12 minutes explaining what your phone means to you, all of the numbers and contacts that are nowhere else, and how you're depressed about all of the text messages you're sure to be getting over this holiday weekend that you're going to miss. And when she says "Well surely you've backed it up?" you quickly hang up. Because you haven't. Because you haven't gotten that far in phone 101. Because you suck.

2. Jess's phone decided to shit the bed. Only because I lost my phone. I haven't checked my messages in 48 hours. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I am just positive that I have 24 messages all from buyer's ready to put offers on my real estate listings but I am not responsive. AHHHHHHH.

3.  Jess and I went for a trail run in Maine yesterday. In a bog without bug repellent. I won't even tell you the places I have bug bites.

4. It's 2:30am and I am wide awake. The 3 hour nap on the plane was not a good idea.

5. I'm moving to Germany and still am completely averse to learning the language. No bueno. See?

Tomorrow we should talk about deep breathing and meditation, no?

Checking Things Off The List

This is us at the top of Mt. Washington. Freezing our asses off. They say that the mountain has 235 days of "crap" weather a year. Crap is an understatement considering how windy, wet, and cold it was. Despite how soggy we were, Jess and I ran down the mountain.  Because we are bad-asses.